The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Frank Hubbard
Never spend your money before you have it. ~Thomas Jefferson
We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. ~Gloria Steinem
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. ~Errol Flynn
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. ~Author Unknown
Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain
They who are of the opinion that Money will do everything, may very well be suspected to do everything for Money. ~George Savile, Complete Works, 1912
I cannot afford to waste my time making money. ~Louis Agassiz
There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either. ~Robert Graves
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart. ~John Wesley
It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach. ~Franklin Delano Roosevelt
After a visit to the beach, it's hard to believe that we live in a material world. ~Pam Shaw
The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. ~Author Unknown
Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb
The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments. ~Mad Magazine
I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money. ~Pablo Picasso
No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
There are no pockets in a shroud. ~Author Unknown
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf
There are people who have money and people who are rich. ~Coco Chanel
This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. ~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills. ~Clifford Odets
There are few sorrows, however poignant, in which a good income is of no avail. ~Logan Pearsall Smith, "Life and Human Nature," Afterthoughts, 1931
Mammon, n.: The god of the world's leading religion. ~Ambrose Bierce
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George Horace Lorimer
"Your money, or your life." We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~Bob Hope
Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence. ~Max Amsterdam
O Gold! I still prefer thee unto paper,
Which makes bank credit like a bark of vapour.
~Lord Byron
Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn't expect to be paid back. ~Author Unknown
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. ~Author Unknown
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~Robert Orben
Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving. ~Dan Millman
My old father used to have a saying: If you make a bad bargain, hug it all the tighter. ~Abraham Lincoln
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ~Woody Allen
I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. ~Joe Louis
Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. ~A.A. Latimer
Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. ~J. Paul Getty
We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to. ~Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1727
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ~Albert Camus
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. ~Voltaire
A bank book makes good reading — better than some novels. ~Harry Lauder
Women prefer men who have something tender about them — especially the legal kind. ~Kay Ingram
There are a handful of people whom money won't spoil, and we count ourselves among them. ~Mignon McLaughlin
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer. ~Author Unknown
Money often costs too much. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
When a fellow says it hain't the money but the principle o' the thing, it's th' money. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard, Abe Martin. Hoss Sense and Nonsense, 1926
The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste. ~M.W. Harrison
They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price. ~Khalil Gibran
I'm so poor I can't even pay attention. ~Ron Kittle, 1987
If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil. ~Henry Fielding
It frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. ~Groucho Marx
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession; a good accountant is a debit to his profession. ~Charles J.C. Lyall
We have profoundly forgotten everywhere that Cash-payment is not the sole relation of human beings. ~Thomas Carlyle, Past and Present
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~Buzzie Bavasi
A man's soul may be buried and perish under a dungheap or in a furrow of the field, just as well as under a pile of money. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
And that brings us back to this graph and this distribution of our life. I accumulated a lot of money when I think about it. When you think and you say, now is the time to give back — well, if you're giving back, you took too much.... [M]y financial advisor in New York, he says, look, you're a silly guy because you would have 4.1 times more money today if you had made money with money instead of sharing as you go. But I like sharing as you go better. ~Ricardo Semler, "How to run a company with (almost) no rules," TEDGlobal, October 2014
There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory. ~Robert Benchley
Wealth — any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. ~H.L. Mencken
...existence has become an unreasoning, wild dance around the golden calf, a mad worship of God Mammon. In that dance and in that worship man has sacrificed all his finer qualities of the heart and soul — kindness and justice, honor and manhood, compassion and sympathy with his fellowman. ~Alexander Berkman,What Is Communist Anarchism?
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. ~Oscar Wilde
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
Never spend your money before you have it. ~Thomas Jefferson
We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. ~Gloria Steinem
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. ~Errol Flynn
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. ~Author Unknown
Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain
They who are of the opinion that Money will do everything, may very well be suspected to do everything for Money. ~George Savile, Complete Works, 1912
I cannot afford to waste my time making money. ~Louis Agassiz
There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either. ~Robert Graves
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart. ~John Wesley
It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach. ~Franklin Delano Roosevelt
After a visit to the beach, it's hard to believe that we live in a material world. ~Pam Shaw
The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. ~Author Unknown
Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb
The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments. ~Mad Magazine
I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money. ~Pablo Picasso
No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
There are no pockets in a shroud. ~Author Unknown
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf
There are people who have money and people who are rich. ~Coco Chanel
This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. ~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills. ~Clifford Odets
There are few sorrows, however poignant, in which a good income is of no avail. ~Logan Pearsall Smith, "Life and Human Nature," Afterthoughts, 1931
Mammon, n.: The god of the world's leading religion. ~Ambrose Bierce
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George Horace Lorimer
"Your money, or your life." We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~Bob Hope
Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence. ~Max Amsterdam
O Gold! I still prefer thee unto paper,
Which makes bank credit like a bark of vapour.
~Lord Byron
Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn't expect to be paid back. ~Author Unknown
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. ~Author Unknown
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~Robert Orben
Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving. ~Dan Millman
My old father used to have a saying: If you make a bad bargain, hug it all the tighter. ~Abraham Lincoln
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ~Woody Allen
I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. ~Joe Louis
Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. ~A.A. Latimer
Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. ~J. Paul Getty
We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to. ~Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1727
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ~Albert Camus
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. ~Voltaire
A bank book makes good reading — better than some novels. ~Harry Lauder
Women prefer men who have something tender about them — especially the legal kind. ~Kay Ingram
There are a handful of people whom money won't spoil, and we count ourselves among them. ~Mignon McLaughlin
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer. ~Author Unknown
Money often costs too much. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
When a fellow says it hain't the money but the principle o' the thing, it's th' money. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard, Abe Martin. Hoss Sense and Nonsense, 1926
The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste. ~M.W. Harrison
They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price. ~Khalil Gibran
I'm so poor I can't even pay attention. ~Ron Kittle, 1987
If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil. ~Henry Fielding
It frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. ~Groucho Marx
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession; a good accountant is a debit to his profession. ~Charles J.C. Lyall
We have profoundly forgotten everywhere that Cash-payment is not the sole relation of human beings. ~Thomas Carlyle, Past and Present
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~Buzzie Bavasi
A man's soul may be buried and perish under a dungheap or in a furrow of the field, just as well as under a pile of money. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
And that brings us back to this graph and this distribution of our life. I accumulated a lot of money when I think about it. When you think and you say, now is the time to give back — well, if you're giving back, you took too much.... [M]y financial advisor in New York, he says, look, you're a silly guy because you would have 4.1 times more money today if you had made money with money instead of sharing as you go. But I like sharing as you go better. ~Ricardo Semler, "How to run a company with (almost) no rules," TEDGlobal, October 2014
There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory. ~Robert Benchley
Wealth — any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. ~H.L. Mencken
...existence has become an unreasoning, wild dance around the golden calf, a mad worship of God Mammon. In that dance and in that worship man has sacrificed all his finer qualities of the heart and soul — kindness and justice, honor and manhood, compassion and sympathy with his fellowman. ~Alexander Berkman,What Is Communist Anarchism?
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. ~Oscar Wilde
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann